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TPG

TPG (The Phil Galfond)

TPG (The perfect guy)

TPG (The poker guru)

TPG (The perfect gate (as in running))

Feel free to add more as you think of them....

T....P....G.....

Another Haiku for TPG (The Phil Galfond)

A smile that can kill
Teeth as white as a snow fall
Blinded at one glance.

RUMOR MILL

I am a New Yorker. Today I went to my local grocery store and bought some necessities (plums, batteries, olive oil) the trip was relatively uneventful. I located my items, put them in my cart, and got in line. The person ahead of me was a tall dashing man. The tall dashing man had such an odd cart! Cases of smart water, boxes of south beach bars, "Veuve", and many bakery-fresh bagels.

I am very attractive and can usually seduce anyone, so I said in a charming manner, "What's up with all that weird stuff in your cart?"

The tall dashing man (heretofore referred to as TTDM) replied, "It's not for me, slamhog. It's for my boss. He is online poker sensation Phil Galfond."

! I nearly fainted! I dropped my jug of olive oil, mouth agape. I stuttered "I....f-f-f-f-f-ollow onnn-li-li-li-ne p-p-p-p oker. I l-l-l-l-l-ove P-"

TTDM: "Stop stuttering widebody."

I did. I stopped speaking altogether. I let TTDM pay and leave, I paid for my items (excepting of course the broken merchandise). I basked in the afterglow of this brush with Phil....

Does anyone know the identity of TTDM!? I am pretty sure he fell in love with me today.

Another Haiku for Phil

With such perfect calves
He jumps up to the heavens
And runs like the wind.

Haiku for Phil

A loving embrace
From the one and only phil
Is what I long for.

The Face of PhilGalfond

So, when I first started playing poker online on Full Tilt and getting involved in "twoplustwo" forums, everything was so confusing. Even though I'm really, REALLY smart, I couldn't win a dime to save my life. To make matters worse, all these poker players were so.... so... I don't know a beautiful word for it so I'm just going to say "douchey." (How base!) As a spiritual, philosophical, and poetic person, I often wondered how I could fit into this community?

Then, I began following the life and career of OMGClayAiken. One week (to the HOUR) after discovering OMGClayAiken, I saw the Face Of PhilGalfond on a 2 of clubs in a game on Full Tilt. I focused on the Face of PhilGalfond and things started changing for the better. I began winning money. LOTS. Every time I would feel low or confused, The Face Of PhilGalfond would appear, and give me wise and logical advice. Sometimes The Face would recite a sonnet, or even tell a knock-knock joke! hahahah. I love knock-knocks, and TheFace told me some goood ones.

Last night, after winning my first million (no big deal) I felt strangely empty. I covered myself in grape jelly and smeared my body all over the carpet. I looked at the carpet, hoping to see TheFace. All I saw was a sticky mess.

I cried myself to sleep. This morning when I uncomfortably awoke (there were fruit flies all over me), i looked in the mirror. There, instead of my ugly head, was TheFaceof PhilGalfond. He chuckled, and said "You've surely got yourself in a jam." He loves puns. He disappeared. I was confused, but invested all my money in Smuckers on a hunch. As of 4 pm today, I am a billionaire.